hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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