All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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