Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
