I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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