dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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