my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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