I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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