Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
