If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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