11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
