As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
