her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
