Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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