My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
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