My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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