So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
