im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize