but the lizard people decide everything anyway
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
