WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
