Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
