I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Randomize
