I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Randomize