My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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