I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
