The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
