I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
