ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
