Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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