Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
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