then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
