its not stalking. its research.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I don't deserve a penis
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
