wakey wakey hands off snakey
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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