best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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