I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
