it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
