Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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