So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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