I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Randomize
