And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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