Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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