I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
