god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
