Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
