I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
