I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Oh god it's open bar.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
