no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
