I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
