NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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