we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
