I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
