Quick, to the slutcave!
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
