we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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